A Different Style
by Rasiaa
Summary: He questioned over and over. But he's known the answer a long time. The only thing left is to keep the secret.


_Inflicting pain on fictional characters is a favorite past time of mine. Especially the Next Gen. squad._

* * *

He had kept it a secret for many years.

…

He was five when he first noticed. "Why don't I look like them?" he asked his grandmother, pointing to the girls with pigtails in their hair. She glanced over and scrunched up her nose, looking repulsed by the question.

"You are a boy, not a girl," she replied, and tugged him away from the scene. He glanced back, caught the eye of one of the girls, and changed his hair to match hers. She giggled. He smiled and was dragged round the corner, closer to London central.

…

When he was nearly eleven, five years after his grandmother fell ill and passed on, he tugged on Harry's cloak and licked his lips nervously when his godfather turned and looked at him inquisitively. "What is it, Teddy?" Harry asked.

He glanced around at the people gathered around the living room. He loved his family dearly, but wished to be alone, now more than ever. Victorie let out a burst of laughter, and he winced internally. What he would give…

"Can we talk?" he asked instead, pulling more firmly on Harry's cloak. "Alone, I mean?"

Blinking, Harry nodded and stood from his chair to follow Teddy away. He waved at the rest of the family when they glanced over, but Teddy didn't look back. Instead he wove his way through Grimmauld Place and up the stairs, pausing at the top to wait for Harry, who was moving at a much slower pace, evidently not seeing a reason for speed. Once Harry reached the landing, Teddy turned and took off to his bedroom, closing his door behind his godfather.

"All right, what's this about?" Harry questioned, sitting on the edge of Teddy's bed. "It's Christmas, the last one before you head off to school. Something's been wrong all day. Are you okay, Teddy?"

The words left him in a rush. The carefully planned speech he had prepared last week fell from his mind, and his mouth dried abruptly. A crease formed between Harry's eyebrows, and he opened his mouth to ask another question, but Teddy shook his head.

Sniffing, Teddy launched himself forward and buried his face in Harry's chest, feeling his godfather's arms come around him automatically. "Teddy?" The ten year old shook his head and started to cry. "Oh, dear," he heard, before being pulled more firmly into Harry's arms. "It's alright, Teddy," Harry soothed.

_It's not_, he wanted to say. But the words fell short and he just shook.

…

Three years later, Victorie walked into his empty dorm room at Hogwarts and caught him wearing a dress and make-up.

She let out a startled gasp, and he whipped around, terrified. Urgently, he flung out his hand and barely registered the slamming of the door and the turning of the lock before he was begging. "Please, Vic, you're my best friend, please don't tell anyone, please, please, please, keep this a secret, Vic, please, this never happened, please…"

She shook her head, closing her eyes. "Teddy…" she muttered, and he shut his mouth. She waited a moment before rocking slightly on her heels and opening her eyes to stare at him, taking in the blue swing dress and matching color on his face. "Are you a girl?" she said it softly.

He blinked and shook his head. "The muggles call them drag queens or transvestites," he muttered in response. "Men that like woman's clothes. Drag queens are often gay and usually they perform, but transvestites just wear woman's clothing."

"Are you gay, then?"

Once more, he shook his head. "I thought I might've been a girl or gay or both for the longest time. Then, last summer, I caught sight of a performance on the streets in muggle London and I knew- I'm still a boy, I like girls, but I also like their clothes."

Victorie stared for the longest time, silent. "Okay," was all she said.

Teddy nearly collapsed with relief.

…

After graduation, Victorie was still the only one who knew about the fifteen dresses he owned and the five skits and six flowery blouses. She had bought him an expensive make-up kit a year ago for his birthday and gave it to him in the middle of the night. The eldest children of the family were the ones with the closest bond, but familial love had never existed between them. Platonic turned to romantic, and things spiraled from there.

Teddy was eighteen now and Victorie had come of age last week. They found a flat just outside London to live in together and Harry insisted on helping Teddy pack his things, despite all of his protests.

The box that held his closest secret was in the back of his closet. It was locked with a key and an invented spell, one that James had unfortunately found the day before and shared with the family. Foolishly, Teddy had thought his secret safe despite it all.

"What are these?" Harry called.

"What are what?" Teddy called back, standing and dusting off his jeans and heading to his closet. Not altogether in the present, his mind failed to make the connection of a possible danger to his secret before it was too late.

Harry pulled out the pink sparkly dress and raised his eyebrows. Teddy's mouth ran dry.

"Give me that!" he yelled irrationally, reaching for the dress. Shocked, Harry's grip loosened and Teddy managed to get the expensive material into the box without it tearing, as it was wont to do. He resealed the box quickly and turned to stare at his adoptive father.

Harry stared back, clearly out of his depth, curious, and angry. "What was that?"

Teddy closed his eyes. Harry had the most unfortunate talent of sniffing out liars the moment the words left a person's mouth. Teddy himself was also a terrible liar on principle, so there was no point in trying, as much as he would love to talk himself out of this mess. _What a stupid mistake._ "My dresses and skirts."

Harry frowned. "Sorry?"

Huffing, Teddy gestured to the box. "My dresses and skirts. I wear them because they're comfortable and because I love them and they're such a huge part of me I need them."

Harry's eyebrows came together. "Why are they locked up like that?"

Teddy's ears burned.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Dom and Al are gay, Rose is bisexual, Hugo wants to have a sex change and you're worried about wearing dresses?"

Teddy huffed out a strangled noise that could have been a laugh or a sob. "When you put it that way…" he laughed nervously, a few tears slipping from his eyes, "it sounds kind of stupid, my anxiety."

Harry shook his head. "It's not stupid, Teddy. I'm just saying- you live in one of the most accepting families in the wizarding world. I'm kind of surprised you thought we would judge you for this."

Teddy shrugged, and Harry pulled him close. "Wear the dresses, Teddy. It's okay."

And if a few more tears slipped from Teddy's eyes, Harry was tactful enough not to mention it.


End file.
